Top 8 Early Signs of Pregnancy, and Why I Have Every Single Symptom Each Month

With the help of the American Pregnancy Association, I have compiled a list of my favorite symptomes of early pregnancy.

1. Missed Period- this is when day 30 rolls around and despite the cramping you have not yet been visited by Aunt Flow. I most definately have this one in the bag. I haven't menstruated on my own for 4 years now. Definately pregnant.

2. Swollen/ Tender Breasts- this symptom can be observed as early as 1-2 weeks after conception. Nevermind that my boobs get sore before every period as well. This month they are bigger; I'm sure of it! That one bra that used to be too big is now cradling these puppies comfortably. I must be pregnant.

3. Fatigue/Tiredness- another early sign of pregnancy is feeling tired, which can be felt as early as one week after conception. Check! I'm practicly sleepwalking through my 12-hour school-days. I'm sure it has nothing to do with my new cycling class. Yup I'm pregnant!

4. Nausea (Morning Sickness)- the most infamous sign of pregnancy is morning sickness. Why does this happen? According to WebMD, it is because the hormones of pregnancy cause your stomach to empty slowly. And yup, you guessed it, I also get a little nauseous every morning. (And that couldn't possibly be a side effect of the Metformin I'm on, right???) Better pull out the stretchy pants cuz I'm prego!

5. Backaches- specifically, the lower back, which, I have found, can be remedied with a warm compress. I'm sure this has nothing to do with hauling my half-dozen textbooks around campus all day. I told you already, I'm pregnant.

6. Food Cravings or Food Aversions- seriously, keep those nasty-smelling hard-boiled eggs away from me. And please bring on the chocolate, I need some extra calories for the baby growing inside of me.

7. Frequent Urination- okay, this one isn't supposed to occur until around 6-8 weeks after conception, but let me tell you, I pee every other hour on the hour. Gosh, that microorganism of a baby must be pushing on my bladder already! What am I going to do with him/her?!

8. Headaches- I feel one coming on right now as a matter of fact. Whoa these pregnancy hormones really do take you for a ride!

I would like to note that I am not a doctor, nor do I have a degree in any kind of medical discipline and therefore hardly know what I'm talking about. Also, as a side note (which you can choose to ignore as I do every month), most, if not all, of these symptoms can also be indicative of an impending menstrual cycle. But what the HEY! It was fun pretending to be pregnant for those two magical weeks between ovulation and the crimson title wave. Here's to hoping for next month, because next month is a new cycle!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Positive Thoughts

 You know those days when you think you've heard it all and then someone surprises you with some new absurd thought on how you should be happy that you're alive and fairly healthy....blah blah blah. Its about this time that I start to prepare for a mini vaca in Wonderland while they stand on their soapbox and tell me how it should be. Well I'm going to let you in on a few of my interpretations of the all-to-common "Positive Thoughts".

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Well, by now I could probably take on Minute Maid in lemonade sales with all the lemons I've turned into anything edible.

"Just relax and it will happen."
Do you know how long I've been relaxing for....yeah longer than it took you to remember that I probably don't care because you aren't apart of the Highly Dysfunctional Uterus Club!

"You're still so young!"
Lets revisit this topic when I'm 30 flirty and thriving with no kids and 10 cats.

"You don't want kids, they are too expensive."
Yes, I have realized this fact by now. These kids already have a running tab at my gynecologists office would you like me to start one for you too?! 

"One of these days it will be your turn."
 GGGIIIIRRRRLLLL PPPLLLEEAASSEE....its been my turn since Kim Kardashian was still dating Reggie Bush and Harry Potter was living underneath the stairs!

Oh, just think if some people could hear my thoughts! Well, I guess you can on this blog....but we won't mention that to them they might get the wrong impression of me =] Its the twisted humor of being my own form of birth control that keeps me going during these famous convos. Whether or not these happy thoughts work for me are no big matter...what keeps me going is my supportive family and all of the women around the world that can read this blog and know that they are not alone in their struggle to get prego. Like always ladies, remember that you're not the only one who cries until she laughs about her highly dysfunctional uterus =]

Sincerely,
Sister H

A Little Extra Clomid Never Hurt Anyone . . . I Think

All right, so we did the second round of clomid at 50mg with zero success. Fast-forward 25 days later and we are starting round three of clomid at 100mg. If you're new at the clomid thing, here's how it typically works. The first day of your period is considered Day 1 of your cycle. If you have PCOS like me, sometime between Day 1 and 5 you have to go into the doctor's to check your ovaries for cysts. If there are any cysts then the clomid is a no-go and the whole round is ruined. But if you are cyst-free then you get clomid!! YAY!! Clomid is a hormone drug that bulks up the follicles in your ovaries so they are ready to be released when you ovulate because frankly, you can't ovulate without an egg. . .

Clomid is to infertiles as marijuana is to teenagers: it's the gateway drug. Typically, doctors start off at 50mg because they don't want to "over-stimulate" the ovaries. Gradually the dose is increased to 100mg and if that still isn't working, 150mg. This month I hit the jackpot of clomid! As I was dividing out my pills for the week I noticed the pharmacist gave me 2 extra clomid pills. At first I thought I had counted wrong. Then I realized that fate has finally stepped in! I thought I was meant to have these two extra pills, like a sign that I NEED these two pills to have a baby (twins possibly??). Why else would this have happened?!?

On the other hand . . . when I checked the doctor's orders it said to take 2 pills twice a day for 5 days. I could just take an extra days worth, but the nurses are monitoring my ovaries this month (so they behave) and what if they can tell that I took more clomid than was prescribed?

But what if taking the extra pills could improve my chances of multiple births? I can handle quintuplets!

And there is my dilemma. I know taking the extra clomid won't work. But I wish there was a magic pill that I could take that just makes me pregnant immediately. In the mean time, I have two clomid pills tucked away in my sock drawer.

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Stalemate

Well ladies, I have recently decided that my va-ja-ja doctor is my new best friend and my bank account's worst enemy... My most recent visit to the doctor confirmed their standings  when I realized I can't get anywhere without my awesome doctor but my limited budget won't allow me to visit as often as I need. I like to hope that most women with highly dysfunctional uteruses aren't in a similar spot but I realize that this hope is probably irrational. Let me start with a little background on my super exciting situation...my husband and I are both full time students and working part time with no insurance which allows little wiggle room for any luxuries like specialized dysfunctional uterus doctors. What room I am given for these exciting visits will only grant me 3-4 months of blood test, meds and doctor visits. In those months we'll spend around $700-$800 dollars just to get poked none stop by pretty much anything you can think of and receiving little to no positive results so far (thanks uterus you're super)! So my motivation to continue to work for the ultimate gift of a child is limited by the small amount of resources we can scrape up and my tolerance for my favorite frienemy, my uterus. Thanks to my specialized doctor I have now started a running tab that my future children will pay back =] This situation is what leads me to my current stalemate...I can't have kids without my doctor which I cant pay for very often which means that I have slim to no chance of catching the prego disease. Yay to being poor and infertile! I guess I'm still young, right?! On the upside I know one of my sistas out there can definitely afford to have at least four different va-ja-ja doctors, woot woot for her! Khloe Kardashian recently taped some footage of her visiting a fertility doctor that proceed to tell her she doesn't ovulate. WELCOME TO THE CLUB KHLOE K!!! It seems like our coming-out-of-the-uterus club is getting bigger! As a side not my husband was watching this show with me and leaned over to tell me "At least you're not the only one who can't ovulate!!" so I responded "Yeah BUT SHE CAN AFFORD TO BUY HERSELF FERTILITY!!!" =] Gotta love him! Well, ladies don't be afraid to leave a comment about your exciting situations and always remember you're not the only one who laughs until she  cries about her highly dysfunctional uterus! 

Sincerely,

Sister H