Sunday, November 4, 2012

Ghetto Walmart - Clomid Monitored IUI take 2

As you can guess from the title, our last round of clomid/ IUI was a fail. You could stay it never really got off the ground because I never even ovulated, which means an egg never popped out, which means the spermies didn't have a finish line to cross, which means no baby was made. And on top of knowing that I had no chance of getting prego that month, and consequently not making my goal of getting prego before Christmas so I can tell everyone on Christmas day, I started my period the SAME DAY MY SIL GAVE BIRTH!!!!!! I really felt like the universe was giving me the middle finger . . .

I just don't understand what went wrong. The previous month I was on the same dose and my ovaries worked. This month, however, they were on strike. Our doctor suggested upping the dose of clomid and if that doesn't work, the next step is to try the shots. I was really excited to try the shots because they are supposed to be a sure-fire way of making those ovaries produce the goods. But the nurse warned us that if I produce too many mature follicles they would stop treatment (something about not repeating octomom or something) and we could either pay another $9,000 MORE to harvest the eggs for IVF, or abandon the cycle (meaning that we pinkie promise to the doctors that we won't have sex and get pregnant with 8 babies). Since we have yet to win the cash lottery, we chose to try upping the dose of clomid and doing the IUI again. If this doesn't work, I'm headed to Vegas to rob a casino. And maybe take a reproductive endocrinologist hostage.

Statisitcally, clomid gives us a 10-15% chance of sucessful birth, and the shots increase the odds to 20-25% chance. However, we are currently paying $1,000 per cycle for monitored clomid IUI, and doing the shots would change the price to $4,000.  With a limited budget, and a husband who's good at math, we decided that we'll get more statistical bang for our buck with four clomid cycles than with one shots cycle.

You know what else doesn't help? The pharmacy that fills my clomid Rx is in the Walmart across the street from us. This isn't your middle-class suburbia Walmart. This is a low-class inner-city ghetto-mart (my husband actually calls it "Ghetto Walmart," but I digress.) So every time I go to fill my prescription, I have to wade through hundreds of uneducated unemployed scantily-clad women about my age who have 3-5 dirty kids trailing behind them, probably with 3-5 different baby-daddys. Not only do none of these women deserve to have babies, but I'm freaking paying for all of their medicaid babies with my tax dollars. And on top of paying for their sexual indiscretions and accidents, I have to pay thousands extra for myself to still not be able to have kids. Karma? Are you listening???

So here we are again, on day 5 with a higher dose of clomid (150 mgs) hoping and praying that this will be the month, and I will finally be able to say, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am pregnant." Until then, here's hoping for next cycle!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Ghetto Walmart

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