Slow and Steady May Just Win the Race

I have been putting off writing for the last two weeks because I didn't think the clomid would work this month. Just to recap:

We are on 150mg of clomid.
We are monitoring my ovaries every few days to track the growth of the follicles.
Once a follicle is big enough (and I don't ovulate) we will induce ovulation wtih a HCG trigger shot.
Once I actually do ovulate (a day after the trigger shot) we are doing an IUI.

So my first few appointments weren't very promising - none of my follicles were getting big enough to ovulate. I figured we would have to just wait to try again in January. But on day twenty I went in for one last check and wouldn't you know it, we had a late bloomer follicle!! I was so excited I cried, and the ultrasound tech looked at me like, "Geeze Lady, hormonal much?"

I had another first this month. I got to do the "trigger" shot, yay!! It really isn't that bad. The medication is already in the shot and the needle is super tiny. I didn't feel a thing. Also, I had my husband give me the shot, and he distracted me while he did it. Then I got a lolly pop. So we did that Monday night, and then we came back Wednesday morning for the IUI.

If you don't know what an IUI is, here is a really great website the will explain in more detail than I am willing to go. But basically my hubby gives a, uh, "sample" to the doctor, who measures, counts, and washes them, and adds them to a serum that will make them swim better. Then the sample is injected into my uterus (which is accessed via a medieval torture device). The look on my husband's face when the nurse asked him if he wanted to push the syringe to inject the semen was hilarious! I think he was still in shock over the torture device, and felt more comforable sitting in the corner of the room with his jaw dropped.

I feel like the stars are aligning this month. His sample was perfect and the follicle was perfect. I'm just hoping they swim straight to that egg. And now we are in that awkward 2-week waiting period where you over-analyze every little cramp or nauseous feeling just hoping and praying that this month it will work out. This month you will be one of the lucky 5-15%. And if not, here's hoping for next month!!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Ghetto Walmart - Clomid Monitored IUI take 2

As you can guess from the title, our last round of clomid/ IUI was a fail. You could stay it never really got off the ground because I never even ovulated, which means an egg never popped out, which means the spermies didn't have a finish line to cross, which means no baby was made. And on top of knowing that I had no chance of getting prego that month, and consequently not making my goal of getting prego before Christmas so I can tell everyone on Christmas day, I started my period the SAME DAY MY SIL GAVE BIRTH!!!!!! I really felt like the universe was giving me the middle finger . . .

I just don't understand what went wrong. The previous month I was on the same dose and my ovaries worked. This month, however, they were on strike. Our doctor suggested upping the dose of clomid and if that doesn't work, the next step is to try the shots. I was really excited to try the shots because they are supposed to be a sure-fire way of making those ovaries produce the goods. But the nurse warned us that if I produce too many mature follicles they would stop treatment (something about not repeating octomom or something) and we could either pay another $9,000 MORE to harvest the eggs for IVF, or abandon the cycle (meaning that we pinkie promise to the doctors that we won't have sex and get pregnant with 8 babies). Since we have yet to win the cash lottery, we chose to try upping the dose of clomid and doing the IUI again. If this doesn't work, I'm headed to Vegas to rob a casino. And maybe take a reproductive endocrinologist hostage.

Statisitcally, clomid gives us a 10-15% chance of sucessful birth, and the shots increase the odds to 20-25% chance. However, we are currently paying $1,000 per cycle for monitored clomid IUI, and doing the shots would change the price to $4,000.  With a limited budget, and a husband who's good at math, we decided that we'll get more statistical bang for our buck with four clomid cycles than with one shots cycle.

You know what else doesn't help? The pharmacy that fills my clomid Rx is in the Walmart across the street from us. This isn't your middle-class suburbia Walmart. This is a low-class inner-city ghetto-mart (my husband actually calls it "Ghetto Walmart," but I digress.) So every time I go to fill my prescription, I have to wade through hundreds of uneducated unemployed scantily-clad women about my age who have 3-5 dirty kids trailing behind them, probably with 3-5 different baby-daddys. Not only do none of these women deserve to have babies, but I'm freaking paying for all of their medicaid babies with my tax dollars. And on top of paying for their sexual indiscretions and accidents, I have to pay thousands extra for myself to still not be able to have kids. Karma? Are you listening???

So here we are again, on day 5 with a higher dose of clomid (150 mgs) hoping and praying that this will be the month, and I will finally be able to say, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am pregnant." Until then, here's hoping for next cycle!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Ghetto Walmart

The Day I Disappeared (A.K.A. Nutritional Facts)

Hello Ladies,

My title may be a little misguiding but I thought it utterly appropriate for the subject of my newest post. To explain, I have recently been on this "kick" of taking lots and lots of vitamins and trying to find foods that will decrease the amount of little buggers on my oh-so-famous ovaries. Through research I have found a few "very" important foods to stay away from and vitamins to ingest regularly....or so Google says =] And let me tell you, after what feels like very thorough research I have nothing left to eat!

Disclaimer: I have not seen a doctor about these "natural" ways but I didnt talk to a pharmacist and she recommended a few of these things as well.

First off, we'll start with vitamins/herbs:

Vitamin B: " important for regulating the role of enzymes, proteins that regulate chemical reactions in the body and convert food to energy."

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/394777-vitamins-to-take-for-pcos/#ixzz29adBzEct

Vitamin D and Calcium together: "calcium is an important part of egg maturation and normal ovarian follicular development. For calcium to be absorbed properly in the body, you must take vitamin D. In addition, women with PCOS who have vitamin D deficiency have been shown to regain regular menstruation when taking vitamin D and calcium together."

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/394777-vitamins-to-take-for-pcos/#ixzz29addkTkE

Vitex (Chasteberry): " It is used for menstrual cycle irregularities, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), a more severe form of PMS called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), and symptoms of menopause. It is also used for treating “lumpy” (fibrocystic) breasts, female infertility, preventing miscarriage in women with low levels of a hormone called progesterone, controlling bleeding and helping the body force out the placenta after childbirth, and increasing breast milk."

Read more:  http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-968-CHASTEBERRY.aspx?activeIngredientId=968&activeIngredientName=CHASTEBERRY

Red Raspberry Leaf: " most popular of all fertility herbs. It is a well-known uterine tonic and is also quite high in calcium."

Read more:http://voices.yahoo.com/treating-pcos-vitamins-herbs-82598.html

 

Red Clovers: "very valuable to the uterus and its high protein content benefits the whole body. It's also quite high in calcium & magnesium, which relax the nervous system and help promote fertility. This herb also contains nearly every trace mineral needed by the glands. Daily use can help balance hormonal functioning."

Read more:  http://voices.yahoo.com/treating-pcos-vitamins-herbs-82598.html

This is where I get to the part of disappearing....

NO SUGAR

No High Fructose Corn Syrup

No White Flour

No Baked Goods

No Ceareal

No Processed Foods

No Fruit Drinks

Read more: http://www.ehow.com/list_5851584_list-high-fructose-corn-syrup.html

All of these delicious delights contain either way too much sugar or high fructose corn syrup which can essentially cause more little buggers because they elevate your blood sugar levels that your insulin doesn't know what to do with. This brings me back to my post title, I LIVE OFF OF FOODS WITH ALL THIS CRAP IN IT.....therefore I will disappear because of a lack of food. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to pop one of those eggs out if I continue to eat the way I do (which I don't believe is too bad but if you look up a lot of your food, high fructose corn syrup is in freaking everything)! So ladies, I must say that my recent research has left me with a bad craving for mint cookies and cream ice cream and dagger eyes for my ovaries =] Oh and a little update, I started the herb Vitex (chasteberry) and I will let you know how that goes! As always ladies, remember that you're not the only one who cries until she laughs about her highly dysfunctional uterus =]

Sincerely,

Sister H

Anatomical Atari

Once again I found myself in the doctor's office checking the Swiss cheese they call my ovaries this month for more cysts. I dropped my pants like I do every other visit, did the naked-hop to the exam table and took a seat to wait for the nurse to come in. Every time it's the same cute little woman who is kind enough to make small talk while she probes my insides. This visit, however, was different. Very different . . . So there I sat waiting when two ladies I'd never seen before came and greeted me. I was slightly disappointed that I didn't have my regular nurse. Anywho, the younger of the two ladies (whom I presume were nurses) took a seat next to me and began the exam. Everything was going fine until she inserted the wand up my va-jay-jay and began using it as a joy stick. Now I know these things can be slightly uncomfortable, but after so many exams I kinda got used to it. Not this one! I'm not sure what she was doing but it felt like she was having a boxing match with my ovaries. Jab left! Now Right! Oh holy heck! Just when I thought the torture might be over, she starts to use the wand as a pry bar! I was defiantly a little sore after that exam . . . I guess if I get pregnant this month then it would all be worth it.

Did I mention that we decided to do IUI (intra-uterine-insemination) this month? Basically that means that instead of doing the baby dance at home, on ovulation day the doctor injects my hubby's little swimmers straight into my uterus. So romantic, I know! It worked for a friend of mine and we are praying that it will work for us, too. And if not, then here's to hoping for next month!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Home Remedies For Us Hardly Unnatural Ladies

  Well ladies, the baby bug has hit and I'd do anything short of stealing a baby to conceive. So as I've been lying awake at night plotting my next after-baby-dancing handstand attack I again started to look up different ways that either help the cysts or make you more fertile (we all know I could use a little help with that!). Now, I know I'm not the only one that obsesses over any ray of hope I can find no matter where its coming from, so I thought "Hey, why not put together a list of things I've found?" So here it is, a fancy little list of possible cures to our baby woes =] Go ahead and let me know if I've missed any!

1. Handstands apparently if you manage to haul yourself up, your hubby's little swimmers have a better chance of making it to that elusive egg. 
  Warning: Make sure you do your handstand away from pictures or decor on the wall...replacing that stuff gets expensive.


2. Apple Cider Vinegar a tablespoon with 8oz of water is suppose to magically take those life sucking cysts away in a jiff according to these ladies.
  Warning: I lasted two days and I couldn't take the stomachaches.....BUT I did feel some burning in the ovary area which I hope was some cyst getting the life sucked out of it!
Info found at: http://www.livestrong.com/article/554077-can-apple-cider-vinegar-help-ovarian-cysts/


3. The Missionary Position is also supposed to help those little spermies make to the egg much faster.
  Warning: Personally, I get tried of making my hubby do all the work so this position gets old REAL fast BUT I'm sure mixing it up wouldn't hurt a normal woman's chances although I'm never one to take that kind of risk. 


4. Chasteberry as if I don't have enough artificial hormones racing through my body (FYI this month was a doosie) this all-natural herb is suppose to help balance all your baby making hormones. 
  Warning: I haven't tried this approach but I may have to make a quick little trip to my local Wally-World and try it out...I'll let you know how that goes =]
Info found at: http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/vitex.html


5. Soy Isoflavones apparently taking this soy supplement is targeted at women in menopause but according to my research, on oh-so-educating forums of course, its help some lucky ladies to OVULATE!!
  Warning: I haven't tried this YET but...I do wonder if this truly works for women or if they just get lucky that month....I also found that an answer to a question on this sight is very informative. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100424143934AAg3vdv
Info found at: http://www.justmommies.com/getting-pregnant/fertility-medications-and-natural-supplements/soy-isoflavones-natural-alternative-t

Disclaimer: I have tried a few of these "home remedies" and I'm not sure if they work or how they can effect your health. If you have the guts to, I would consult with your doctor on whether or not he recommends any of these treatments. Don't forget that the more you stress about it the less likely you are to conceive yada yada yada...like you can stop stressing in a time like this! Don't be afraid to let us know what you've tried and whether or not it works! As always ladies, remember that you're not the only one who cries until she laughs about her highly dysfunctional uterus =]

Sincerely,

Sister H

Top 8 Early Signs of Pregnancy, and Why I Have Every Single Symptom Each Month

With the help of the American Pregnancy Association, I have compiled a list of my favorite symptomes of early pregnancy.

1. Missed Period- this is when day 30 rolls around and despite the cramping you have not yet been visited by Aunt Flow. I most definately have this one in the bag. I haven't menstruated on my own for 4 years now. Definately pregnant.

2. Swollen/ Tender Breasts- this symptom can be observed as early as 1-2 weeks after conception. Nevermind that my boobs get sore before every period as well. This month they are bigger; I'm sure of it! That one bra that used to be too big is now cradling these puppies comfortably. I must be pregnant.

3. Fatigue/Tiredness- another early sign of pregnancy is feeling tired, which can be felt as early as one week after conception. Check! I'm practicly sleepwalking through my 12-hour school-days. I'm sure it has nothing to do with my new cycling class. Yup I'm pregnant!

4. Nausea (Morning Sickness)- the most infamous sign of pregnancy is morning sickness. Why does this happen? According to WebMD, it is because the hormones of pregnancy cause your stomach to empty slowly. And yup, you guessed it, I also get a little nauseous every morning. (And that couldn't possibly be a side effect of the Metformin I'm on, right???) Better pull out the stretchy pants cuz I'm prego!

5. Backaches- specifically, the lower back, which, I have found, can be remedied with a warm compress. I'm sure this has nothing to do with hauling my half-dozen textbooks around campus all day. I told you already, I'm pregnant.

6. Food Cravings or Food Aversions- seriously, keep those nasty-smelling hard-boiled eggs away from me. And please bring on the chocolate, I need some extra calories for the baby growing inside of me.

7. Frequent Urination- okay, this one isn't supposed to occur until around 6-8 weeks after conception, but let me tell you, I pee every other hour on the hour. Gosh, that microorganism of a baby must be pushing on my bladder already! What am I going to do with him/her?!

8. Headaches- I feel one coming on right now as a matter of fact. Whoa these pregnancy hormones really do take you for a ride!

I would like to note that I am not a doctor, nor do I have a degree in any kind of medical discipline and therefore hardly know what I'm talking about. Also, as a side note (which you can choose to ignore as I do every month), most, if not all, of these symptoms can also be indicative of an impending menstrual cycle. But what the HEY! It was fun pretending to be pregnant for those two magical weeks between ovulation and the crimson title wave. Here's to hoping for next month, because next month is a new cycle!

Yours Truly,
Sister K

Positive Thoughts

 You know those days when you think you've heard it all and then someone surprises you with some new absurd thought on how you should be happy that you're alive and fairly healthy....blah blah blah. Its about this time that I start to prepare for a mini vaca in Wonderland while they stand on their soapbox and tell me how it should be. Well I'm going to let you in on a few of my interpretations of the all-to-common "Positive Thoughts".

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Well, by now I could probably take on Minute Maid in lemonade sales with all the lemons I've turned into anything edible.

"Just relax and it will happen."
Do you know how long I've been relaxing for....yeah longer than it took you to remember that I probably don't care because you aren't apart of the Highly Dysfunctional Uterus Club!

"You're still so young!"
Lets revisit this topic when I'm 30 flirty and thriving with no kids and 10 cats.

"You don't want kids, they are too expensive."
Yes, I have realized this fact by now. These kids already have a running tab at my gynecologists office would you like me to start one for you too?! 

"One of these days it will be your turn."
 GGGIIIIRRRRLLLL PPPLLLEEAASSEE....its been my turn since Kim Kardashian was still dating Reggie Bush and Harry Potter was living underneath the stairs!

Oh, just think if some people could hear my thoughts! Well, I guess you can on this blog....but we won't mention that to them they might get the wrong impression of me =] Its the twisted humor of being my own form of birth control that keeps me going during these famous convos. Whether or not these happy thoughts work for me are no big matter...what keeps me going is my supportive family and all of the women around the world that can read this blog and know that they are not alone in their struggle to get prego. Like always ladies, remember that you're not the only one who cries until she laughs about her highly dysfunctional uterus =]

Sincerely,
Sister H